Humans beware: not much separates your bathroom from a Starbucks bathroom if you don’t add personal touches to it. Ok sure, Starbucks bathrooms feel like a small prison of tile and bad lighting, but if it had some plants in it wouldn’t that bathroom be so much better? Are you wondering if I’ve spent too much time in Starbucks bathrooms in my life? Yes, yes I have.
But let’s focus here, nothing makes a bathroom less prison-y and more homey than a few nice plants. This post isn’t to convince you to get bathroom plants though, we trust you UPP readers to know that you should most definitely have some; this post is to help you decide which plants will look best and thrive in your particular bathroom situation.
When shopping for your ideal bathroom plants, there are several considerations to keep in mind:
- Light: What kind of light does your bathroom get? Is your bathroom a cave, a tanning booth, or something in between?
- Size: How large is your bathroom? Can you breakdance in your bathroom or just do a tiny-armed YMCA?
- Air flow/humidity: Does it stay humid in your bathroom or does it get drafty? Does it feel like you’re in NYC in the middle of summer, or NYC at any other time of year? Do a little research on this one since bathrooms can really fluctuate in temperature, and this will affect certain plants’ success. And we want success.
Ok if you’ve answered our three-part bathroom quiz, now its time to find out which member of the Friends cast you are! Ah sorry, wrong quiz, let’s find out what kind of plant(s) you should get!
Bathrooms with windows (decent light, good air flow, varying humidity):
H’aloe, this is one great plant for those of you with windowed bathrooms. These plants like indirect bright light, and can be used for medicinal purposes too!
Broooooo, bromeliads are beautiful. Most bromeliads are epiphytic (remember your Latin people: ‘epi’ = upon, ‘phytic’ = plants), meaning they grow on other plants or objects for support. Cool, right bro? Given their epiphytic lifestyles, these plants need humidity to get water from the air. And they like bright indirect light, because who doesn’t?
No this isn’t the name of a transformer (please realize this is a relevant reference because there are two Transformers movies coming out in the next two years), this is a pretty pretty tropical plant. These guys are nice and communicative as they droop when they need water.
Dungeon bathrooms (low light, varying humidity):
If your bathroom has a Game of Thrones-like dungeon feel to it, don’t worry, there are plants for that.
Cast Iron Plant
If the name is any indication, these plants are hard to kill. So even if you’ve murdered a few plants in your bathroom, don’t fret, the Cast Iron plant may just be the solution you’ve been looking for. It does just fine in low light, and also won’t die on you if you forget to water regularly. Yay low-maintenance plants!
For y’all with humid dungeon bathrooms, get yourself a fern. Most varieties of ferns thrive in humid environments, and they have such fun and flirty foliage (yes plants can be fun and flirty too). We personally love a good Boston fern because, well just look at them!
An UPP fave, these plants can live pretty much anywhere, including your dark bathroom. Remember that they are toxic to cats though, so if you’ve got a kitty that hangs out in your toilet room, you might want to consider other plants.
What are your favorite bathroom plants? What are your thoughts on Starbucks bathrooms? Let us know in the comments or tag us on Instagram using #UPP and #makegoodplantschoices.
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